A Sad and Unexpected Goodbye

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After hearing the devastating news that my hubby would not have insurance after I left my job in less than 10 days, I reassured him that we’d find a way…somehow. Even if I had to find another job, we’d get help for him. But inside I was nearly paralyzed with fear. I spent a lot of time praying and asking for God’s guidance. Then Christmas came. Our home was filled with family on Christmas day and I felt so very blessed. I think I was worried this might be the last Christmas they got to spend with their dad. Never did I dream he wasn’t the one God was bringing home.

On Monday after Christmas I went to work and during my breaks and lunch spent time contacting various sources seeking help and guidance on the insurance problem. I resolved to go in person to VA. We had contacted them the prior month and been turned down because they weren’t accepting any Priority G vets. I wanted to appeal to them in person.

But on Tuesday hubby called me at work to say Mom was sick. When I got home I saw her face and my heart sank. She said she’d been sick the night before and she just didn’t feel good. I washed her face with warm water and tried to get her to drink some water. She was so sick…so weak. I called the squad. Her blood pressure was very low and I told them about her heart condition, but they didn’t seem worried about that. After hearing she’d been sick to her stomach, they attributed it to the flu. She was dehydrated so they asked me to get Gatorade and make sure she drank plenty of fluids. Mom wouldn’t allow them to take her to the hospital. I should have insisted. I gave her the Gatorade and she forced herself to drink most of a glass, then said she was going to bed and couldn’t drink any more because she was just too sick. I helped her to bed and during the night I tossed and turned worried…

I heard her get up and I stood in the doorway while she was in the bathroom. She could barely walk. I helped her to get to bed and all she could say was “I need to flop, I need to flop…” She collapsed onto the bed saying she was just so sick. At five a.m. I convinced her that she needed to go to the hospital. I called the squad again. At a little after six, I kissed my hubby goodbye and hurried to the hospital. I hated leaving him. He looked so pale, so shaken…

Mom prognosis was bad. She was in the middle of a major heart attack and given her already diseased heart there was no hope…not little hope…no hope of survival. Family rallied round. We filled the waiting room. They allowed us to go into the CCU with no restrictions. She was surrounded with grandchildren and great grandchildren. My hubby was alone. I made phone calls to check on him and keep him filled in, but I don’t think he really understood how grave the situation was. I called my boss and told him what was happening and I called our Pastor. At 7pm, Mom was resting after speaking with the doctor. Most of the grandkids had gone home and I decided to go home and fix something for my hubby to eat so we could at leas
te share a meal together on our 30th wedding anniversary. Yes, that was a day we should celebrate, but it turned into a day filled with sadness. We had just finished eating when the hospital called and said I needed to get there immediately.

Mom passed away quietly just three minutes before I reached her bedside.

“I didn’t plan to be a caregiver, but God had a different plan for me. I accept it with a happy heart, thankful that my love and I are still together.”


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