Through the Lonely Hours of Darkness


My mom was gone…the house seemed to grieve…just as I needed to. But, I still had a very ill hubby, arrangements to make, and still no insurance and no relief in sight. God lifted me in His arms and carried me through the next difficult days. There is no way I managed this alone.

The day after mom passed to her eternal home, I had to pull myself together and drive hubby to VA. I didn’t know what would happen, didn’t know if anyone would even listen. A friend gave me the name of a woman who had gone to work with VA and I asked for her at the information desk. She’d never heard of me, but she came down and I introduced us and mentioned our friends’ names. And then I burst into tears. I struggled through the story of how we’d been turned down everywhere we sought help and she listened though she couldn’t do anything. Her department had nothing to do with being accepted by VA. But she talked to another lady who took us into a back room and again through scalding tears I managed to sob out our story. I explained that although our earnings for the prior year were higher than the government standards, that as of January 1 (the next day) we would be living solely on our Social Security earnings. The good Lord was at work that day in the form of an angel named Karen. She put us into the system as a “hardship” case. Gave us an appointment for Monday, January 4 with a doctor. I was numb with relief.

My next hurdle was making arrangements for Mom’s cremation and memorial service. I grieved in private and spent a lot of time on my knees giving thanks to God for his blessings and his support. I had to remain strong for my family members and especially for my husband. My grief had to be held within. My husband took Mom’s death hard. They’d grown very close in the seven months she was with us, and he hurt because he hadn’t been able to say goodbye. He needed my strength.

I was now a woman with no living parents, no job, and an extremely sick husband. But God continued to hold me upright. He was walking with me each painful step. His arms held me and He assured me that this too would pass. In the lonely hours of darkness, I cried on His shoulder and he wiped the tears from my face…comforted me and remained with me while I slept.

But, the trouble was nowhere near an end…

“I didn’t plan to be a caregiver, but God had a different plan for me. I accept it with a happy heart, thankful that my love and I are still together.”

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