MONSTER MR.SPIDER…huge, hairy and black, charged toward me so fast I stumbled backward. But he knew he was no match for me! He ducked under the washing machine and I grabbed my gallon container of Ortho Home Defense Max!!
“Prepare to be defeated!”
The spray went down quickly, placing a barrier around the washer and dryer. Then I stood with sprayer in hand, daring him to make his next move.
“Come out and do battle!”
He remained hidden and trembling, knowing he was about to battle for his life. I intended to come out the winner.
Even name calling did little to offend his hairy countenance.
Filled with confidence, I moved items, carried empty boxes to the trash outdoors and still the little monster remained in his hiding spot shaking with fear.
With speed to rival any gunman of the old West, my finger was on the trigger. Weapon in hand, the spray went flying across the line, drawing him out to run for protection.
Cats came running. “Get away, get away!” My crazy cats like to play with spiders, but they never kill them. And I didn’t want them to get into any of the poison and get sick. They took high positions to watch the battle unfold.
Trigger finger moving faster than a tortoise in pursuit of winning the race, I blasted MR. MONSTER SPIDER in a fallout he couldn’t swim through.
Taps played in the background as he surrendered…too late…
Moral of the story: Never underestimate the power of a determined woman.