I’ve been reading NOT A FAN by Kyle Idleman. Reading the words have made me really think about my life and my commitment to Christ. I like to think I’m a follower of Jesus and not just a fan. But am I?
I wish I had the excitement I felt at thirteen when I commited my life to Jesus and was baptized. Nothing could stop me for my love for Him was so great. My mother was angry. My father was uncaring. Neither of them had ever come to church with me and they wouldn’t come to see me baptized either. I didn’t care. I was only thirteen, but I knew what I had to do. I was baptized, and when I rose from the water I cried with joy. My heart took on a new burning and my life a new direction. Perhaps that is what Jesus meant when he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life–he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 26-27 NIV) At that time I was a follower.
Over the years, I slipped. I stopped attending church. I did things I’m ashamed of. But God never gave up on me. When I ran, He pursued. He pulled me back into His fold and has been with me through every high and every low. He has bestowed so many blessings. There have been times I cried out in pain and anger because of injustices to members of my family. I knew He heard me, but I didn’t feel His presence. Only when I was broken and threw myself at His feet and begged for mercy, did He lift me in His arms and show me the path to walk upon. He always answers prayers. Maybe the answer isn’t what I hoped for, but God’s unfailing love always comes through much better than anything I could have envisioned.
He is the One and Only. The One who brings me to tears with His abundant blessings. Yet I’m only human. I have failings. I don’t always put Him first. I’m tempted by other idols…money, acceptance, appearance…
The question: Am I follower or a fan? I want to be a follower and I pray every day He will lead me in this direction. One day I hope to hear Him say, “I know you. Well done, good and faithful servant.”