He is a docile peacemaker between his brother Templeton and his sister Charlotte. During a routine yearly visit to the veterinarian two weeks ago, the doctor noticed a tumor about the size of rather large pea next to the first toe on his left paw.
We scheduled him in to have the tumor removed, but after much discussion, we decided we didn’t want to have the tumor sent off and analyzed. If it was malignant, we didn’t want to know.
Today was the day of his surgery. The doctor called during the operation to let me know the tumor was very invasive and had spread into his toe. I had only a couple of minutes to decide whether to have the toe removed or just have her take as much of the tumor as possible. There were no guarantees that if she did take the toe, the tumor wouldn’t recur, nor that it hadn’t already invaded lymph nodes.
Crying, and heart breaking, I struggled to give a “right” answer. She said we should send the tumor to have it analyzed so we’d know what we were dealing with. If it was malignant, we were probably looking at some expensive treatments with no guarantee, but we would know how to move forward.
I asked about his recovery with the toe removed and she said he would have to learn how to balance without the toe, but it wouldn’t be too bad.
How does one make such decisions without being able to think about it? When the heart is breaking and the mind is struggling to process the possibilities?
Finally, I said to just take as much of the tumor as possible.
Wilbur came through the surgery fine and is waking up. He will stay at the vet’s office overnight and she’ll call me in the morning. I asked (after the operation was completed) if they could just go ahead and remove the toe. I didn’t want to think about part of that tumor remaining. However, back to back surgery is very risky.
I just want to bring Wilbur home, pray for the best, and let him live his life as normally and as full of love as ever. This is in God’s hands. Anyone reading this, I humbly ask that you pray for my beloved Wilbur. I know God loves all His creation. I know He is sad at my tears and pain.