Some people can’t understand why I share such a deep, personal look into my emotional journey after losing my beloved husband. They don’t understand how I can post inspirational words with my friends on Facebook. Shouldn’t I be lost in grief, suffering, angry, and so broken that I withdraw into a ball in a darkened corner to grieve?
My beloved left me a legacy of love. Thirty-three plus years of love. Together we cared for our blended family, learning together each of their individual needs. We laughed a lot and we loved a whole lot more! We worked hard for the little money we earned, but we always trusted God would provide for what we really needed. And He did. Time and time again.
My husband loved to work with his hands, whether building something out of wood, or planting bushes and flowers and tending to their care. Over the years our yard has taken on many different “looks” with the addition of new gardens.
I can sit on the swing hanging from the grape arbor…all built with his hands…and listen to the sound of water from the fountain in the koi pond. I’m surrounded by beauty in a peaceful landscape. This morning my journey showed me a beautiful hibiscus bush covered with blooms and two beautiful flowers. The middle of the flower is filled with tiny other beautiful flowers. The rose of sharon blooms with white blossoms. And the cycle of life continues with the bumble bee gathering nectar from the cone flowers. I feel the touch of my beloved in every leaf, every bloom, every blade of grass. And my heart overflows with joy, peace, and the knowledge that I am not alone.
God and my husband created this legacy for me. A legacy of love. A safe haven where I can sit and recall memories. As I walk around and look at the kaleidoscope of colors, I feel both Jesus and my beloved walking beside me.
Sometimes I have to shed tears. I hear it is part of the grieving process, so I let them flow. And I share those emotions with the world.
There is a reason I’m still here on this earth. God has a plan for me. Perhaps that plan includes sharing my journey with others to help them with their own personal struggles.
The time will come when we all must leave our earthly home. This is nothing to fear. It is simply a moving from this life to our eternal life as our Lord and Savior has promised. A receiving of our true inheritance. Until then, I have turned my life over to God. I ask for Him to open my eyes and my heart so that I might see where I can be a blessing to others.
The journey I’m taking has some hills and valleys. My feet faithfully follow, sometimes needing the cleansing of tears, followed by a joyful uplifting. There is no sorrow in a legacy of love.