It’s been seven months for me. Maybe it’s been longer for you, or shorter.
Time doesn’t matter when you are dealing with grief. Most days I’m happy and moving forward with whatever my day holds. I keep busy, because it’s during the idle hours grief comes to call. If you spend your time alone and inactive, you might begin to embrace grief and mourning. A bad place for you to dwell.
Even though you might have friends, family, and activities to occupy your time, there will be those unexpected moments when a memory will pop into your mind and you’ll feel a quick sting of tears. I do.
For me, the worst memory is the last hours we spent together in palliative care in the hospital. Our family members left thinking this should be a time we had alone…just the two of us. I don’t know if it would have been easier had they been with me, but I’m grateful they weren’t. I wouldn’t want them to have the memories I do. The long hours of knowing my hubby could hear me but not communicate. The sound of his labored breathing. And my words repeating the Lord’s Prayer and the Twenty-Third Psalm over and over and in-between asking Jesus to be merciful. At the end falling asleep and missing his last breath.
When this memory invades my thoughts, I walk to his picture, see his smile and his beautiful brown eyes. Then I smile and remember all the wonderful years, the love, the laughter, the hard times and how we worked together to get through them, always looking for the best of every situation because we had faith.
So, I caution you, if you find yourself dwelling on the negative aspect of your loved one’s call to glory, don’t go there! Find something to remind you of happy times, be thankful you had them, and pray. God has put you where He wants you to be for a reason. Don’t look back. Just be blessed in the current moment.
Hope Courtland escaped her marriage to save her life. Her only regret is leaving her four-year-old stepson, Joshua, behind. Though she wants custody, the legal system is against her and her faith falters. When she learns Joshua is in danger, she kidnaps him in an act of desperation, only to become a suspect in a murder.
Zack Stone is content being sheriff of Pine Cove, Tennessee. Though his faith is strong, he struggles with issues of forgiveness. When he rescues Hope in a rainstorm, the last thing he expects is a woman who stirs his lonely heart. But Hope hides the truth behind her bruises. Being a small town sheriff shouldn’t involve kidnapping and murder, but Zack can’t turn his back on Hope and the little boy she loves.
A puppy, three lonely people, and time is running out. A killer wants to silence Joshua forever, and his paternal grandparents want custody. When the worst happens, Hope feels she has nothing left to live for, but God has a plan.