I Forget You Aren’t Here

I miss you. Not a day goes by without remembering your smiles.

momndad (1)Mom, I want to pick up the phone and call you to share something funny or just to hear your voice…to make sure you are doing all right, for I know you miss Dad. But then I remember you are in heaven with him and I can only send up prayers, but not connect through the phone.

Kevin, my heart will never heal for losing you. You left this earth much too early. I will never understand why you chose to end your own life. I wish you had reached out and shared the troubles in your heart. kevinhouse (9)There was no closure and this is what tortures me. All I can do is pray for God to help me through this grief and pain. You were my little boy, my sweet baby, my funny and very smart son. I can’t forget the last phone call we shared and wonder what I missed in that conversation which might have been your final goodbye. I love you and miss you so.

Andrew's Wedding 114Ron, my beloved husband. Your memory walks with me each and every moment of every day. I hear your voice in the silence of this house. Everything I do brings back a memory we shared together. Sometimes my heart aches so badly from missing you. I need to feel your arms around me as you tell me not to worry, that everything will work out. I miss your arms surprising me from behind and the kiss on my neck. I miss you telling me you love me. I just miss you. The only blessing in the grief is knowing you are no longer suffering and that you have moved on to a beautiful life.

I know we will all be reunited again…my parents and grandparents, my son, my husband, and my child I never met who was taken through a miscarriage. All my beloved friends, my furry pets, my cousins, aunts and uncles…I will see you all again one day.

Dear Lord, thank You for giving me so many people to love, and thank You for the gift of eternal spiritual life and the promise of a future which is more beautiful than the mind can imagine.


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