“Counting Spider Legs on the Wall…”

Spider searchThe title above should be sung to the old song by the Statler Brothers, “Counting Flowers on the Wall.” This courtesy of my laughing daughter after I relayed how my morning began.

Last night was one of my sleepless nights. It was after 3AM when I finally drifted off. Wilbur usually wakes me at 7AM if I sleep that long. So while I was still trying to grab a little more sleep, he was walking on me, pawing at my covers, sticking his nose on mine and meowing loudly. I ignored him as best I could until around 8AM.

I petted Wilbur, then swung my legs out from under the covers. Now usually I make my bed before I leave the bedroom, but an urgent call to the bathroom had me padding there in my bare feet.

I stopped immediately when my eyes fell on a round black blob on the shower floor. Without having the benefit of my glasses, which were still in the case on my nightstand, I could only guess that the unmoving spot was a spider. A pretty big one.

Talking to God about how I didn’t want my morning to begin this way, I hurried to the bedroom, slipped on my flip flops and eyeglasses. When I returned to the bathroom, sure enough the “spot” was a BIG spider. It wasn’t making a move to escape, so I backed out, ran down the stairs and to my office to grab my fly swatter, or in this case, spider swatter.

On the way I had a brief thought about how I should try and catch it and release it outside. I know it didn’t mean to get trapped in my house…in my shower. It was only a brief thought.

I hustled up the stairs and to the bathroom and came to a halt when I saw Wilbur sitting in the exact spot the spider had been. Oh, no! Since I know he never eats spiders or messes with them, I figured he might not have seen it and sat upon it. Now it was most likely crawling through his long, soft fur.

Then seeing me, Wilbur came toward me to give me his “I love you” leg rub. I shrieked and jumped away from him. The shriek scared him into the hallway where he gave me a “what?” look.

“What did you do with the spider, Wilbur?” He trotted back into the bathroom, tail waving high, with no sign of the dreaded arachnid on him. Then he looked around the shower. So did I. But the spider was in deep hiding.

My call to nature was growing very urgent by this time, so seeing no sign of the spider, I carefully sat upon the porcelain throne, while keeping a close vigil. I knew it would be a disaster if that frightening thing would suddenly appear.

Wilbur trotted into the shower, sat and watched me as if to say, “Sissy!”

Feeling relieved finally, I began to search for the elusive eight-legged monster playing hide and go seek. I smacked the shower curtains with my weapon several times, but it never reappeared. I looked at the ceiling, along the corners of the wall. Behind the door. Now where could it have gone? It had to be here somewhere!

I beseeched Wilbur again to give me a hint. He wasn’t cooperating.  I think he tried to get me up earlier to show me this thing, and since I ignored him, he was ignoring me.

I took one more glance in the shower and it flew out of the shower drain! I mean one second it wasn’t there and the next, it sat looking at me as if to say, “Okay, let’s do this.” It looked like the kind of spider who didn’t spin webs to catch prey, but hunted them down. I was now the prey.

But it had invaded my territory. This was going to be my victory. I lifted my spider killer swatter high. Knowing I would have only one chance, I gave a Karate yell, and smacked as hard as I could.

Spider dead. Spider legs broken from his body and surrounding him. Yes, I hit him that hard.

My shower is spider free now. My cat is napping. I’m asking God to forgive me for killing one of his creatures. If only it had stayed outside…

May your day be filled with laughter, joy, and love. Thanks for stopping by.

Peace, blessings, and love,

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