Taking the first steps into 2016, I think of how different it is to welcome a new year with only the company of my cats, though they don’t appear to notice the passing of the old and the beginning of the new.
As a child, I was separated from my brother and sister through divorce and grew up as an only child. With no siblings to play and fight with, I spent a good deal of time alone. I found comfort in books and creating stories in my mind.
I think my siblings imagine how different their lives would have been if we had grown up together. I know I do, as I grew up as an only child in a family of adults who were too busy to spend time with a lonely little girl. I found comfort in playing with a stick horse named Spooky. We had many fine adventures together. Sometimes I would cross the bridge to the vacant and overgrown lot and sit in the long grasses and gaze at the clouds. I built forts from a blanket thrown over chairs on the back porch and crawled inside to read. I wasn’t athletic like most of my cousins and they liked to tease me when they came over. Bullying is what it would be called today.
Looking back, my life now is reminiscent of those days of youth. Maybe it is a blessing I learned how to be alone at a young age.
After marrying the love of my life, I was no longer alone. I had my best friend by my side. I learned what true love meant. And it was all God promised. But my heart was shattered when it came time for him to go to Heaven without me.
It took time to remember how to be alone again. And now, here I sit, ushering in a new year in the silence of a home that feels like a safety net. The echoes of children’s laughter rings in my ears. The memories of beloved pets beside my chair. And the heart of the home is still here, just not beating in rhythm because part of it is missing.
I’m a writer. My fingers dance over the keyboard with the words God provides. He has equipped me with the ability to sit in silence and paint pictures with words. Alone. I realize today, this was God’s plan–equipping me as a child for the future He knew I would have in my later years.
So I usher in this new year with hope and with the trust that He will continue to strengthen me and prepare me until I’m ready for Jesus to take my hand and lead me into Heaven. I’m grateful He is right by my side, as He’s always been.
Blessings to you for a healthy, Happy New Year!
With Christian Love,