Another holiday passed without the presence of my beloved husband. Each year these holidays become easier to deal with, but there is always a hole in my heart that cannot be completely filled.
I’m so grateful for the Holy Spirt filling me up and blocking any leakage from that hole. I do know some people who don’t have this comfort and their grief becomes greater than any blessings. How awful to spend all one’s time closed away from the world where blessings are waiting just outside the wall of grief.
Today a dear friend shared the loss of her beloved cat. Oh, I remember the tears shed when my sweet furry children left my life. Every morning when I go outside to feed the two feral cats, I wash the stone covering the ashes of my sweet Sara. She graced our lives with unconditional love for over fifteen years. While we adopted a family of three furry siblings after saying goodbye to Sara, I still remember all the blessing she brought. And now my three are a little over thirteen and I sometimes worry about how I’ll deal with saying goodbye when it is time to let go.
We suffer many losses in our lives, and all are very painful. My grandparents were my first major losses. Then came my parents. It’s a difficult and humbling experience to realize you are an orphan when your last parent is called home. I still find myself reaching for the phone to share something with my mom though she has been in heaven now for almost six years.
Then came the loss of my husband which tore me apart. The loss of our spouse is extremely debilitating because God joins us together into one. Losing my son came next. A parent should never have to watch a child of theirs be buried.
Life is an ongoing circle and we are to spend each day loving each other as if it is our last day on earth. Only God knows what date is on the end of our dash. Live each day with a grateful heart.