When I retired from my day job, I didn’t have time to think about the change this made in my life. My mother had just passed, my husband was terribly ill, and my job became one of caring for him, and pushing back the grief of how these events changed the direction of my life journey.
The quiet times of sitting with my hubby in the living room watching his favorite shows were filled with crocheting prayer shawls through a new group formed in the church I attended. We stitched together one afternoon a month, sharing new patterns and techniques, while making beautiful shawls filled with prayers for those who were stricken with illnesses, suffering losses, or even celebrating new life.
I was still writing, too. And President of one of the writing groups in my city. The hours of my days were filled, so retirement meant nothing to me, but having time to pursue things that gave me pleasure.
My husband’s condition continued to worsen, even to the point where he couldn’t attend church with me on Sunday mornings. God had answered a prayer the week before I retired by allowing my husband to remain with me for a few more years. During these three years, I watched his decline and knew God was going to call him home at any time. When that happened, it came suddenly, and I felt in my heart when the ambulance rushed him to the hospital, he wouldn’t come home again. He didn’t.
The following three years were a time of adjusting to a new life. A life where I had no one to care for. A life where I couldn’t find a purpose for being left behind. I still crafted prayer shawls, spent time with friends and family and wrote. I had more hours to spend in God’s Word. I attended Bible studies and church. But there was something missing. Something I couldn’t define. I prayed a lot. Cried some. Healed some. And still felt a little lost.
Then came a nudging from God to apply for an advertised position as part-time secretary to a new Pastor at my church. I’d been considering looking for a part-time job hoping to fill the “void” in my life, but I hadn’t really committed to doing anything about it. The position remained in the bulletin for several weeks. And God kept nudging me to take action. Finally, after a time of prayer, I grabbed my phone and texted the person in charge of hiring. Things went super fast after that. I interviewed three days later and received the news that I had been chosen that Sunday morning before church service.
There were a few hitches regarding start date and I began to feel maybe this isn’t what I should be doing. Yes, Satan, nudges me, too. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish the difference in the voices because Satan is very good at deception. So I prayed. And God humbled me by telling me He called me to the position at church, not to bless me in the way I’d expected, but to bless others and through that blessing to bless me. Wow.
This was so clear to me and I looked on the position He’d opened for me in the way He expected. As a ministry. God doesn’t make mistakes! That missing something in my life has been filled in exactly the way God planned all along. He gave me time to heal from the immediate grief of loss, then moved me along the path He’d chosen.
I am truly blessed and grateful.