Have you seen “This is Us?” It’s probably my favorite television show right now. In last night’s episode, the scenes with the doctor who delivered the twins resonated with me.
Losing a spouse is for most people the most devastating loss one can suffer, even tantamount to losing a child, if one can believe that. This episode goes back and unfolds the scenes leading to the birth of the twins.
The raw emotions of each of the three families impacted by the event kept me glued to the program. I could relate to many of the issues faced, but mainly, and most recently, with those of the doctor.
At the time his wife has been dead for fourteen months. Not a year, like his son says, in a particularly emotional scene, but fourteen months as the doctor retaliates in a heated response. He still wears his wedding ring. I still wear my wedding ring. At the graveside, he speaks to his wife and says he misses her every second of the day. He tells her he is tired of missing her so much and doesn’t want to do it anymore. The acting is superb. Instantly my tears started. He says that seeing her pills lined up in the medication cabinet every morning…and then his pager goes off. He wipes his eyes and croaks they’ll continue the conversation another time.
Wow. How many times during the first year after losing my husband did I think those same things? Not about the possibility of taking my own life, but of wishing God would take me, too. The effort of going through each day was difficult. The face I showed the world hid the pain inside. But it is true that there is healing in the miracles of life. Not just in the birth of children into a family, but in the small acts of doing for others. In being a part of helping others, we will be helped.
This is Us. A well-crafted television show.
This is life. With Christ, all things are possible.
And so, I lift my cup of tea this morning in testament that one can go on after losing a spouse. Life will change, but in reality, life is a series of changes from the day we are born. We need to look at the blessings in our life, the positives rather than the negatives. God can work miracles out of the darkest of times.