Morning Thoughts

My Decision Until It’s Not

Where does one choose to draw the line when it comes to medication? I’ve been dealing with arthritis in my lower spine and also the top of my feet for many years. When a flare happens, I’m unable to do much of anything. That’s when I take the medication the doctor prescribed. I’m on blood pressure medication, cholesterol lowering medication, diabetes medication, heart medication, and acid reflux medication. Honestly, I hate taking any meds. And now…

My heart doctor is concerned about my episodes of atrial fibrillation and aortic stenosis. He says this, combined with my fluctuating blood pressure, puts me in a mid-range possibility for having a stroke. And those odds increase with each year. He has been encouraging me for a year to begin taking a blood thinner. According to him, the low-dose aspirin regime I’m on is a slight help, but not near as effective as blood thinners. Of course if I do go on blood thinners, then I won’t be able to take the meds for my arthritis.

The decision for me is do I suck it up and deal with the pain that makes walking almost impossible with arthritis flares in order to take blood thinners to help prevent a stroke? Or do I finally throw up my hands and say I’m leaving everything up to God. Only God knows if a stroke is in my future. I really fear the idea of what might happen if I do have a stroke. Will I become someone who can’t speak or care for themselves, thus putting a burden on my children? Or maybe lie in a hospital for a time until I die from results of a stroke?

I’m almost 78 years old. How many years are left to live? I’ve already denied having a mammogram any longer. If I should get breast cancer, I won’t do chemo. I’d rather have quality of life than quantity with side effects of chemo. I’m going to die. Everyone is. I know where I’m going when God takes me and it is a wonderful eternal home. So, what about all these medications? It’s all a matter of choice. My decision. Until it’s not. Perhaps a future government may decide at my age no further medications will be allowed and that I’m defective.

Not going to worry about the future. I know God is still in control. Until I’m called home, I’ll do my best to make informed decisions. Lifting my cup of tea and wishing everyone a day to remember you are worthy, you are loved, and you are beautiful.