I love music, especially Christian music. I love to sing in church, though the voice in my head does not come out like I hear there! LOL! So glad God only cares that I praise Him. Flat and off-key doesn’t matter.
Since my Templeton Cat crossed the Rainbow Bridge, I have felt really alone. The silence of the house has pressed in on me. Yesterday, I was coloring and thinking and whenever my phone dinged a notification, I jumped. It scared me as if someone had snuck up behind me and said boo.
I began thinking more and more about how I needed a cat back in my life. I imagined one sitting on the desk while I’m busy or lying in my lap as I watch television in the evenings. I used excuses for not getting one, though with my lifestyle, they really didn’t matter. Then I started looking at how many people, including my doctor had said I need to get another cat. Could this be God speaking to me? This fanned another desire to get a cat.
This morning, after a really great night’s rest, praise God, I admitted I could not afford to get a pet. For the past few years, I’ve spent a LOT of money on my three cats. Each month I was taking at least two hundred dollars from my savings to care for them, more in the last year due to health issues. I am about to talk to my cardiologist because I cannot continue taking the blood thinner prescription he feels is necessary. I’m not trying to sound whiny, just realistic. I NEED to be in a better situation financially to own a pet.
What I really need is to have music in my daily life. I am playing my favorite Christian radio station this morning on my old single CD player/radio. Just the sound of the music lifts me up and makes me know I am not alone here in this place. Jesus lives here with me! I feel His presence so strongly as I listen to praise and worship music.
And I know that voice telling me to turn on the radio was from God! He always has the best answers. I do plan to search for a better radio, just a radio.
Yesterday, I stumbled across a journal my second youngest daughter gave me in 2020. I am going to use it to continue my journaling. She gave it to me for Mother’s Day in May 2020. I used it for taking study notes while I was studying my Bible and only used about 1/4 of the pages. Since it is spiral bound, I removed the pages I’d filled and now it is a perfect journal for me. There is a scripture on every page, just as I had wanted. It also has a beautiful cover.
It’s wonderful when God leads me to forgotten treasures!
So why do I journal? I’ve found it is a way to pour out my thoughts and emotions at the end of a day. We never know what is going to happen as we open each gift of a new day. Journaling is a release for me of the stresses before I go to sleep. It is talking to God while writing the words in my heart. The journal is also a place where I share my joy at God’s beautiful creations, the happy moments in my day, or the plans for a new day. In short it is just opening up my heart at any given time and releasing the words. Sometimes the words are a prayer.
I’ve often used the words, I write because I can’t NOT write! As an author, words are a part of my inmost being and I believe this is a gift from God.
I’m so grateful to my daughters who provide the means to journal, to capture scripture, and to record blessings. And I’m so grateful for a God who loves me so much and tell me I am worthy.
This year instead of reading the Bible in a year, I chose a three-year reading plan. Why? Because I wanted time to reflect on the verses I read each day. Right now I’m in Numbers.
The Pentaateuch (books Moses wrote while wandering the desert) are difficult to understand. So many laws, rituals, and sacrifices. There is no way I can retain this information, nor do I wish to. What I do want from my daily reading is to understand what God wants me to learn from what I read.
I finished reading chapter 31 yesterday and I had to immediately go to God and talk to Him. It is difficult for me, a woman, a human, not to form questions that cannot be answered. I understand the holy war was needed to get rid of impurity, after all the idolatrous activities of Baal. What I struggle with is the captivity of the women who had never lain with a man. These 32,000 women were divided among the Israel tribes. Captives. Slaves. And these women would have been very young, even tiny children. So I turned to God to ease my heart.
I can so easily fall into having compassion for things of the world. What I take from my reading is that the world has been disobeying God from the moment Eve listened to Satan’s voice. The world is filled with people living in a “me” mentality, a mentality of needs over wants. All God wants is for us to obey Him and trust Him. If we follow God’s word, we won’t go astray. Yet, we are sinful people and believe we can control our lives.
I’m praying for God to guide me in becoming a woman who asks and listens before blindly going after the wants I have. To help me give control to Him.
I am a morning person. I wake early each morning to thank God for the night’s rest and the gift of a new day. Each morning I see a woman in the mirror who is like a stranger. She doesn’t look like the energy driven woman inside me. The morning hours are my most productive. I have tons of energy. But as each hour passes, the energy decreases.
This morning I was cleaning the glass on my storm/screen door before 7:30am. One of my neighbors was walking her little dog. I waved and smiled. The sun was shining through the cloud cover and everyone’s garden areas glowed with beautiful colors. I planned to write this blog from my porch, but it is not quite sixty degrees, so a little chilly for me.
I will go out with my Bible and a cup of tea soon because that is where I feel close to God. When I first saw this condo, I felt God had led me here, so I never looked at another place. This was the first, and I knew, just knew, it was going to be my last residence on earth. I get teary-eyed whenever I stop and bask in God’s creation, whether looking through my office window, like now, or sitting on the porch. It’s like Psalm 23…”my cup runneth over.”
The mirror mocks me each morning. The woman staring at me is not the one inside me. The one inside me is young and full of dreams. She’s energetic and can do anything she sets her mind to do. But the woman in the mirror reminds me this body is temporary and is prone to deteriorate. And so, I sit here with my cup of tea, anticipating the new body and new home awaiting me in Heaven.
In the meantime, I will dream, give thanks, and try hard to age gracefully, and appreciate the woman in the mirror.
Another day has come and nearly passed on my vacation in NC. Before I begin the picture account of my day, let me tell you what happened on our trip to the Dollar store to purchase a place mat to use for making stencils. We came on a construction area on a rural road and were stopped by a guy in a neon vest and hard hat holding a stop sign. The road was blocked into one lane. Nothing new there, but what we saw was a white pickup truck going about 2 miles per hour to the top of the small hill, then turning around and coming back. The vehicles stopped on the opposite end followed the truck, again going the same barely moving speed. Then he turned around and headed back up the hill, same speed. We were allowed to follow him then! I mean would you have wanted his job? LOL!
I started the morning sitting on my daughter’s front porch and reading my Bible. The horses were in the pasture across the street. I love watching them.
I walked down the road to get close enough to get a good picture of the horses. On my way back I saw my daughter and Homer waiting for me.
Digit their other cat is still not friendly to me. I tried to take his picture but he insisted in sitting under the chair where he could sneak jump attack me!
Later I caught him protecting the door so I couldn’t get out again.
I took a few pics of the house but didn’t get every room.
I caught pics of son-in-love weeding his gardens and with Homer.
My daughter is an excellent cook. Pictures taken at dinner this evening.
As soon as we finished eating an older couple came to the door. They live across the street and stopped on their way to church to meet Delana and Paul. They apologized for waiting so long to do so. Learned the horses aren’t theirs but their daughter-in-love’s. Both she and her husband do rodeos. These horses are extras and the ones they are using for barrel racing and roping are in another pasture further up the hill.
It was a good day. I’m heading to bed tired and happy and thankful to God for everything. Until tomorrow, be kind and share love not hate.