Writing in the Great Outdoors

Saturday morning…not a usual day for me to blog. The reason is a new tablet and bluetooth keyboard I’m trying out. As I sit here with my cup of tea, listening to the birds singing, I find it a nice change from having to squint at my laptop screen. If only it wouldn’t be so difficult to view outdoors!

This setup is working nicely so I’m feeling encouraged. Today is my cleaning and laundry day but I have all day to deal with that. Right now I simply want to drink a cup of tea while enjoying this lovely day and birdsong.

I’d like to find a way to write my books on this tablet, but my writing program doesn’t work with the Android operating system. One cannot be choosy, though. Actually this tablet is replacing a 12 year old iPad. It had an app that worked for writing. If I can write and save as a word document, I can then email it to myself and then upload it to my laptop writing program. Perhaps I will find an app.

For now I’m happy to be able to sit outside and blog!

Mother’s Day Morning Memories

I wish my mother was alive today so I could wish her Happy Mother’s Day. I wish I could give her a present to let her know I love her and thank her for giving me life. There comes a time when you realize the absences of loved ones in your life. Today is one of those days for me.

Mom and Templeton

Perhaps I’m melancholy because I said goodbye to Templeton on Friday as he crossed Rainbow Bridge. I miss his presence.

Templeton

My daughters treated me to lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant yesterday. We always have fun when we get together. I’ve noticed lately they have been putting us as far away as possible from other tables/booths. They know us now and how we can burst into loud laughter throughout out meal. Yesterday even evoked both a snort and a cackle! Yes, we are those crazy ladies. We are crazy for Jesus and crazy for each other. That’s family.

Daughters Bring Joy

I remember how I could sometimes get my mom to join into our craziness. Have to share this picture taken at her great grandson’s birthday celebration. What about those teeth!! LOL!

Mom, Julie and Me Being Silly

This picture makes me smile and thankful for the time mom lived with me and my hubby. On this Mother’s Day I miss giving her a hug and telling her I love her.

But memories keep our loved ones alive in our hearts. I thank God for years of memory making and for the hope of seeing my loved ones again in heaven.

No Rock, Paper, Scissors

Rock, paper, scissors was the way my friends and I made decisions when we were young enough to play hopscotch and tag–when days were endless hours of playing in the sunshine and catching fireflies at night.

Those days are long gone now. Through my adult years I’ve been faced with many decisions. I became good at making lists of pros and cons. This still works when making financial decisions, but not so with emotionally charged decisions.

I’m facing saying goodbye to my furry friend of nineteen years. It’s been a roller coaster ride for the past year. He has his good days and bad days, like me. I tell him we are just two old people doing life together, one human, one feline. However, his bad days are every day now. Yet, he eats good, and wants to spend every waking minute by my side. I am comforted listening to him purr every time I touch him.

He sleeps a lot, but when his naps are over, he’s vociferous, loudly vociferous, until he finds me and feels my touch. His health issues require a lot of bending, cleaning, and constant attention, which I won’t elaborate on in this blog post. His weight is more than half what it used to be. His body is weak and he stumbles, but so do I.

Making the decision on what is the right thing to do can’t be accomplished by a game of rock, paper, scissors. He doesn’t know how to play. When it comes to a list of pros and cons the emotional pain overwhelms me. How does one say goodbye when so much love is involved?

I’m haunted by the decision I had to make in 2013 when a doctor offered a possibility of extending my husband’s nonexistence in a hospital bed where his body was shutting down. Emotional decisions when the choice is whether or not to extend a life that isn’t really a life are heartbreaking.

And so today, Templeton and I will visit the veterinarian possibly for the last time. In this case, as in the case of my husband, I will ask the same question of the doctor. If this was your father, or cat, what would you do?

Years of Blessing

I think my mom would have enjoyed living here. The last years of her life, she spent all day and evening watching television and solving word search puzzles. I can see her sitting on the porch and passing time. Add my late husband to a chair beside her and I can hear them exchanging stories. I’d be sitting across from them and listening with a happy heart. It might encourage me to put bird food out to draw the birds closer since both of them liked to watch birds.

Mom lived in a wooded valley and often had visitors of the furry masked kind. She fed the racoons bread and leftovers and always had a pan of water for them to wash their hands. When we’d visit, it was a treat for us when they would knock on her door asking for dinner. We’d stay inside and watch them with awe since we were city dwellers.

Some mornings I watch my quiet landscape and enjoy happy memories. Sipping a cup of tea with gratitude for the years of blessing in my life.

In the Still Moments

This morning I sit and look through my office window at the sunshine and the lovely colors of spring, and I’m suspended in these still moments. No words clamor to be written. This is a pleasant place to rest for now, safely under His wings.

I sip my tea. I smile. I feel His nearness.

This is a gift. This is the peace that passes understanding. I breathe. This is the breath He breathed into my lungs. This is life. He knew me before I existed. He knows me now.

I am grateful here in the still moments of morning.