I love music, especially Christian music. I love to sing in church, though the voice in my head does not come out like I hear there! LOL! So glad God only cares that I praise Him. Flat and off-key doesn’t matter.
Since my Templeton Cat crossed the Rainbow Bridge, I have felt really alone. The silence of the house has pressed in on me. Yesterday, I was coloring and thinking and whenever my phone dinged a notification, I jumped. It scared me as if someone had snuck up behind me and said boo.
I began thinking more and more about how I needed a cat back in my life. I imagined one sitting on the desk while I’m busy or lying in my lap as I watch television in the evenings. I used excuses for not getting one, though with my lifestyle, they really didn’t matter. Then I started looking at how many people, including my doctor had said I need to get another cat. Could this be God speaking to me? This fanned another desire to get a cat.
This morning, after a really great night’s rest, praise God, I admitted I could not afford to get a pet. For the past few years, I’ve spent a LOT of money on my three cats. Each month I was taking at least two hundred dollars from my savings to care for them, more in the last year due to health issues. I am about to talk to my cardiologist because I cannot continue taking the blood thinner prescription he feels is necessary. I’m not trying to sound whiny, just realistic. I NEED to be in a better situation financially to own a pet.
What I really need is to have music in my daily life. I am playing my favorite Christian radio station this morning on my old single CD player/radio. Just the sound of the music lifts me up and makes me know I am not alone here in this place. Jesus lives here with me! I feel His presence so strongly as I listen to praise and worship music.
And I know that voice telling me to turn on the radio was from God! He always has the best answers. I do plan to search for a better radio, just a radio.
I had always wanted to be someone who writes in a journal on a regular basis and so many times I started and then just lost interest. But in 2019 my youngest daughter purchased a spiral bound Christian journal for me for Christmas. I began writing in it on January 1, 2020 and made my last entry on July 31, 2022. So much happened during those two and a half years, and though I didn’t write my thoughts on a daily basis, I captured history inside those pages. The feelings I had during the pandemic were probably the most historical moments.
I’m going in search of another similar journal so I can continue the process as I found it a wonderful way to talk to God or just share my intimate thoughts about my life. This journal had scripture verses on each page and my name was inserted in them. I found it so comforting.
Wish me well in my journaling search!
A few weeks ago, I began following the 75 Soft Challenge. I even restarted once when I missed doing one thing on one day. I have now decided to give myself grace and to not stringently follow this challenge. Why?
I’ve learned as I age, my body is not what it used to be, and let’s face it, neither is my mind. I have the desire and even belief that I can do things which are not as achievable as I envisioned. While I believe I can do all things through Christ, good sense has to come into play as well. With my diabetes and heart issues, my body can’t take the punishment I used to put it through. There are times when I need to listen and rest. It’s a fact of my life.
Am I giving up? No. That’s not what I’m doing. Prayer has always been a part of my day, but not a conscious five minutes reserved just for that. Now it is. Reading nonfiction has always been a part of most days, now it is a daily habit. Eating healthy at least 90% of the time is now part of my daily get healthy plan and drinking at least 10 glasses of water daily is just a part of my life and has been for many years. So that leaves the exercise.
I cannot exercise 30 minutes each day. There are days when I’m running errands, doing heavier household chores, or I’m just not feeling good when exercise is not something healthy for me to tackle. There are days where the 30 minutes is easy to accomplish, and days where I can only do 20 minutes. It is important for my health to exercise, so this is part of my weekly routine. It might be four days a week, or it could be more or less depending on the circumstances of my daily commitments.
I’ve learned at my age I’m not supposed to keep up with the goals my younger inner self wants. It’s okay to admit I’m nearing 80 years old. It happens to all of us who are blessed enough to make it to this stage of life. I’m going to embrace it with grace.
I sometimes receive comments on social media calling me a strong woman and one who Christ works through. These words surprise me because I don’t see myself in this way.
I don’t feel strong…not ever. All my strength comes from God when I turn to Him in my need. I never thought how this might look through the eyes of another person. When tragedy strikes, I depend heavily on my relationship with God through the Holy Spirit. Jesus hold me up in the moments my knees are weak and ready to collapse. He alone sees my tears and dries them. I don’t cry out on social media in my pain for assistance from others. I know that is useless.
So perhaps when others see me, they are witnessing the me that is clinging to the hand of the only One who is supporting me. Maybe they see Christ in my demeanor.
I try to be encouraging and share how God can change lives if we believe, trust, and allow the transformation. I don’t see the results often, so I never know if what I am doing is helping to share the good news.
But maybe others see what I don’t.
Have you ever had a scripture you’ve read over and over suddenly strike you with an intensity that overwhelms your entire body and emotions? Let me tell you what happened to me.
I’ve been doing The Chosen Season One Bible Study on my own. I’m taking my time to read it because too many times I will do a study and not go slow enough to allow the words to sink in. When there is a lot of information to absorb, I’ve learned I need to be a tortoise not a hare.
One of the questions Wednesday was: “How might Isaiah 43:1 challenge you to think differently about your situation? And what might it be calling you to do differently?”
So I read the verse again. When I reread the words: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are mine,” a shower of shivers ran down my arms and tears erupted. I saw in my mind the scene in the first episode of The Chosen where Jesus says these words to Mary Magdalene. Suddenly,, I was in her place and He was speaking directly to me! I immediately went into prayer about this and cried for the full five minutes I prayed.
I can’t recount the number of times I’ve read or heard this scripture. I’ve even repeated those words in conversations with others. I knew them. I believed them, but I hadn’t felt how powerful this was to my life! I knew this is what God wanted me to hear and I know this experience will remain with me forever. God reached out and truly opened my heart and personally placed the words within. I tasted the honey in the rock. I am His!! Amen!