Unexpected Breakdown

Saturday while I was doing laundry, I suddenly began to cry. Not just tears, but hard sobbing. I finished folding the clothes while I continued to sob, until I finally needed to lie on the sofa. I missed Templeton so much. But then I began to think of his brother and sister, who preceded him to Rainbow Bridge.

As the feeling of loss consumed me, it grew worse. Emotions of being without so many loved ones drew me deeper into depression. My dad and mom both gone, my husband, my son, my “bestest” friend and her husband (also a dear friend), and now all three of my sibling cats. My heart was burdened with loss and grief.

Throughout the day, I would burst into tears as I felt all alone. Usually something will trigger a small breakdown, but this was the worst I’ve experienced in many years. Life is not always smooth. There are hills and valleys. This was a sudden drop into a deep valley with steep hills on all sides. It was a time when I couldn’t find the words to ask God for help. It was a time to just call out to Jesus to help me and to recite Psalm 23.

Sunday was a better day. Rejoicing and praising God is greater than any medication. I had lunch after church with my best friend. We talked about life, the past, and laughed a lot. Awesome medicine. I spent the afternoon coloring.

And now it is Monday. Today I’ll begin working on formatting my soon-to-be released novel, Katy’s Heart. The sky is cloudy, but it is a pleasantly warm day with a nice breeze. I’ll be Skyping with another dear friend, also an author, this morning. We Skype every week, though we haven’t seen each other in person for a long time. Since we both have books in the publication stages, we are planning a get together soon.

The day is overcast, and a few raindrops just kissed my office window. I’m grateful for this day, grateful for every breath, every scent, and give praise to God for His healing in my time of need. I know I will be reunited with my loved ones one day. Our parting is temporary. I don’t know if I’ll see my furry babies in heaven, but I can hope. God created all animals, and I know there are horses in heaven.

Aging gracefully with God is an ongoing process for which I give thanks.