As I writer, I see and feel things, which to me require capturing in written form. It’s like my fingers are connected to my heart. I suppose that’s true in a kind of literal sense, but when I sit with my hands on a keyboard, my eyes are open to visual stimulation and mind pictures. I’m not sure how other writers feel. Some are quite intentional about what they write.
A story forms in their mind, and they carefully plan, build characters and worlds and write about these. For me, the pattern is different. I write down things that touch me and capture them in a small journal. These are the triggers for emotions that soon attach themselves to characters and a story begins to form.
Sometimes I journal my feelings because I can’t help myself. God gave me a gift to paint pictures with words and when I write, the words seem to come from outside myself. From God? I don’t believe He is speaking directly to me to write specific words, but I do believe He provides the fodder that grows into a story, showing emotions He stimulates through life experiences of various forms.
I am a writer. Words caress my soul. And I want to give back to God, using my gift to honor Him. Just as God gave gifts to the craftsmen who created the first tabernacle in the desert, He has equipped me as an artisan of sorts. They created with their gifts according to God’s instructions to Moses. I have not received such a direct command, yet I am urged to write through God speaking to me in different ways. In the beauty of a morning sunrise, in silent suffering, in the joys and pain of dearly loved ones, in the beauty and ugliness of the world. God opens my heart and fills me with the desire to spill out the emotions onto paper. Sometimes in a journal, sometimes in a story.
Saturday April 30 marks the day I wrote the end to my 9th full length novel. Emotions ran high that afternoon.
I missed being able to hug my husband and to hear him tell me congratulations. He was my biggest fan. And marketer. He told everyone I was a published author, even strangers. It’s a wonderful feeling to have someone be proud of your accomplishments. It’s different now, being a solitary writer. I sometimes think about the writing groups I once was part of. I left those behind when my husband needed my care more than I needed those groups. But I won’t get into the past today.
Another emotion was saying goodbye to the characters. This was sad and happy at the same time. I love happy endings and my characters reached theirs. But they lived in my mind night and day talking to me and now they are silent. Their story has been told.
I’m looking forward to the next adventure but while I am looking through ideas for plots, my writing is turning to telling my own story. The stories of my youth. Of things forgotten by today’s world. Of the future writer who escaped into other worlds as she walked along creek banks deep in the woods. This is my legacy to my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. I haven’t yet decided if I will make the book available to the outside world.
As I lift my cup of tea and smile at the view outside my window and give thanks to God, I am peaceful and filled with gratitude for the gift He has given me.
Once upon a time I dreamed of writing a book. It was many, many years later, after being let go from a corporate job during a downsizing before that dream became a reality. I had time to write and so I did. I finally found my niche in the Christian/inspirational genre and today still have several books on Amazon available for e-readers. I retired about a year ago because I lost the passion for writing novels.
BUT, there is no such thing as a past tense writer. Once God gives you a gift and a passion to use it, the gift remains even if your mind decides to retire. So not…I was a writer, but I am a writer.
Thus, the passion to write kept burning. My Facebook timeline has always been a ministry of sharing the hope and joy of having a relationship with God. After telling my mind I was no longer going to write novels, I needed another way to continue sharing my gift. And, thus, this blog was born.
Along with sharing thoughts and emotions, I also share my hobby of coloring, which has kept me busy and sane during the isolation days of the worldwide pandemic. Color makes me happy. Writing makes me happy. A perfect pairing.
I scribbled these words in a small 2 inch by 4 inch notepad while waiting for my optometrist to call me into the room for my actual exam. And in this waiting period my eyes were being dilated. Thankfully, I could still see fine, but I also realized I need to carry a larger notepad with me for such a time as this.
So, back to gifts. One can go for years without accepting and utilizing their gifts. I was young, elementary school age, when I discovered my love of reading which led to a strong desire to write. I wanted to entertain people, but being shy this discouraged any chance at an acting or singing career. Well, that and having no talent in either.
Even though I have “retired” from writing books, a part of me is still in love with being a writer. I can’t not write. Yes, that is correct grammar, despite what my son-in-love says. And so, I embrace this gift as I sit at my desk with my laptop and transfer my thoughts to my fingers to tap out the words. And I thank God.
Today I am waiting for the next round of snow to hit in a few hours. The wind is howling as it blows outside my condo, the sound battling with the sound of the furnace. It’s like a battle of forces to see which is stronger. There is still about four inches of snow on the ground with another round of 6 to 10 inches to come. The temperature is 24 degrees which isn’t bad considering…it is the wind chill causing a desire to stay inside. I spoke with my brother and my sister, both of whom live in Texas, and they are experiencing ice, snow and bone chilling temperatures. One of my friends lives in an area of southern Texas and she has 5 inches of snow!
So much change is affecting our nation, not just the changes due to the pandemic. I feel God is speaking loud and clear…”Children, wake up! Repent!” And so I wait quietly, sitting in His presence, knowing nothing is in my control. It is faith, trust, and hope that sustain me. The Bible is my lifeline. I pray you will remember what is important and be grateful, not snarling and snapping because things are not to your liking. The one thing you can control is your attitude. Choose happiness.
And now, I come to the time where I share my hobby results from this week. I had a slow start coloring because I wanted to finish my diamond painting. I didn’t finish it completely, but hopefully it will be finished today. I did spend many hours enjoying the splash of color both in my diamond painting efforts and applying color to my coloring pages.
Diamond Painting from Diamond Art Club. I love this scene. You should see how well it sparkles!
Carol Ann Erhardt, Author 