This year instead of reading the Bible in a year, I chose a three-year reading plan. Why? Because I wanted time to reflect on the verses I read each day. Right now I’m in Numbers.

The Pentaateuch (books Moses wrote while wandering the desert) are difficult to understand. So many laws, rituals, and sacrifices. There is no way I can retain this information, nor do I wish to. What I do want from my daily reading is to understand what God wants me to learn from what I read.

I finished reading chapter 31 yesterday and I had to immediately go to God and talk to Him. It is difficult for me, a woman, a human, not to form questions that cannot be answered. I understand the holy war was needed to get rid of impurity, after all the idolatrous activities of Baal. What I struggle with is the captivity of the women who had never lain with a man. These 32,000 women were divided among the Israel tribes. Captives. Slaves. And these women would have been very young, even tiny children. So I turned to God to ease my heart.

I can so easily fall into having compassion for things of the world. What I take from my reading is that the world has been disobeying God from the moment Eve listened to Satan’s voice. The world is filled with people living in a “me” mentality, a mentality of needs over wants. All God wants is for us to obey Him and trust Him. If we follow God’s word, we won’t go astray. Yet, we are sinful people and believe we can control our lives.

I’m praying for God to guide me in becoming a woman who asks and listens before blindly going after the wants I have. To help me give control to Him.