What Are We Without a Dream?

A holiday weekend is upon us though I hadn’t realized until I looked at my calendar yesterday. Another fact about living alone in retirement: there are no plans for family outings any longer, so unless I have an appointment penciled in my Christian Planner, the days slip by without recognition. Some mornings I forget what day it is. This morning I had a brief thought while waking that it was Saturday. Then I remembered today was Skype day with my daughter who lives in Wisconsin. Friday. Laundry. Thank goodness for routine!

Our routines evolve as our lives change. I’ve never been a spontaneous kind of person. I’m smiling now remembering vacations and how hubby wanted a schedule of what every day would involve. He couldn’t wing it. The best vacation we ever took was a 10 day road trip. I planned exactly where we would stop each day, booked hotels in advance, and we ate at roadside rests from a packed cooler.

That vacation was relaxing, fun, and I wish we had done this more often. As I continue to age in my quiet days of routine, I sift through memories of the good times. A little longing enters. If only I were a little more courageous, I’d like to get in my SUV and take a trip to visit my brother and sister. I’d listen to audio books while I drove once I could no longer get my Christian radio stations. But, alas, it isn’t safe to travel alone, especially as a member of the “golden years club.” Stopping at roadside rests to eat would not be wise. Traveling alone with health issues wouldn’t be wise.

Some tell me to get on an airplane. There were years when I flew quite frequently for business. I enjoyed those trips. Now the thought of boarding an airplane gives me a panic attack. I trust God, but I find it difficult to trust placing myself in the hands of strangers especially in today’s world. I don’t want to fly again until the rapture!

And so, I dream of enjoying traveling alone, seeing myself as a strong, brave woman of age. The dreams will have to be enough. In reality, I enjoy my time in the quiet peace of each day, knowing God is with me and He holds my future.

Lifting my cup of tea with a sigh and closing the dream to inhale the fresh morning air, to see the beautiful light blue sky, feel the warmth of the sunshine, and give thanks to God for blessing me so richly.