Senior Life

When the Chair is Empty

Yesterday my Rav4 groaned a bit before starting. On Saturday, I started it and let it run for 10 minutes since it has been so cold and I haven’t driven much. I hoped it was simply the cold.

But when I came out of church, the same thing happened. I began thinking back and I don’t believe the battery has ever been changed. My friend and I drove to the local pizza restaurant where we eat on Sundays after church. The snow was coming down pretty heavily so we decided to order our pizzas to go so we could each make it to our homes quickly. Ha! When we go to the door, there was a sign stating that due to unforeseen circumstances they couldn’t open before 1. No pizza yesterday!

When I got into my vehicle, the car again hesitated before starting. I began wondering where I could go to get a battery on short notice…on a Sunday afternoon…with the roads slippery and snow falling. I came home. But I backed into the garage because I am afraid it might not start today.

I wanted so badly to talk to my husband, but the chair is empty now. He would have calmed me down and known exactly what to do. I miss him so much. It’s been eight and a half years, but his presence is still sorely missed. He was my better half.

Our years together were so filled with love and life, even when he became too ill to do things outside the house or the main floor inside. We still shared our lives. We talked and I miss that a lot. There are days when I don’t make a sound. All I hear are the sounds of my home and occasionally the meow of my cat.

Today I still face the problem of getting my Rav4 someplace to get the battery changed. I searched yesterday and couldn’t find the battery cables to have someone jump the vehicle if necessary. My family will all be working, so I can’t call on them. I gave up AAA two years ago.

I just want my husband to be in the chair so I can sit on his lap and be held. I want to feel the warmth of his hug and to tell him I love him.

I know God is here with me. I know that. I have talked to Him about this many times and I know He understands my sadness. I’ve also prayed for Him to bless me in this situation with the battery. I sip my cup of tea as I wait for the time to pass so I can first try to start the engine before I call the dealership as I can’t think of a better or closer location.

I know there are others just like me who deal with an empty chair, and I pray for them today as I pray for me.