Midnight Insights

Last night I woke with a very clear thought. “She wouldn’t have said that!” I know I should keep a notepad and pen on my nightstand, but there are reasons I don’t. I could have walked to my office and captured the thought, but doing so would wake me enough I’d have trouble falling asleep again. So I lay thinking about the need to remember. And tossed and turned for an hour and a half before sleep took over.

As a writer, I receive insights into what I’m working on in unexpected moments. Like in the shower. A pen and notepad would not help at such a time. Right? Can you imagine trying to write when the pen slips out of your soapy hand, and the water ruins the notepad?

When I had a full-time job, I would receive inspiration while driving to pick up food on my lunch hour. Can’t write and drive at the same time either. Once I worked through an entire new manuscript idea in my head watching it unfold scene by scene as I drove home from a writing conference 600 miles from home. Lose it all by the time I unpacked. My idea was to get a small recording machine to carry with me. Yeah, that didn’t work. Nothing came to me except the thought I should be capturing something important.

Thankfully I did remember the insight from last night. Now I need to make the change before I lose it!

Why I Find Peace in Shorter Days

Fall is definitely approaching. Each day the sun rises later, so I’ve been sleeping an hour later. The sun is setting much earlier, too. It is dark now by 7:30pm. For an introvert like me, this change doesn’t bother me very much. It’s like an excuse for not being out and about.

Yesterday at my small group, we were discussing 1 Peter 1:22. The question was to talk about a time when an act of obedience led to being more holy. The most recent I remembered was stepping out of my comfort zone to join the small group just a couple weeks after attending the church. I explained how uncomfortable I feel in a group of strangers and how I’m very shy until I get to know people. They were so amazed to hear me say this. They would never have guessed I was shy!

One of the ladies said how she was in awe that a published author was joining the group. She asked how I could be a writer and still be shy. I explained how it is the perfect job for an introvert because I could write in the privacy of my comfort zone! I could interact with people without being face to face. Everyone laughed.

When I was young, I used the crutch of being funny to be comfortable. If people were laughing, they must like me. I realize this today, but then it was just a way of trying to fit in. As I grew older, people who didn’t know me thought I was standoffish. They didn’t see the scared little girl inside who wanted so much to be accepted. I never had the gift of conversation. I never felt good enough. I had low self esteem.

Maybe this is what led me to have a passion to write. So, as fall descends upon the extroverts who love being outdoors and with friends being active and adventurous, this change isn’t as easily accepted. As the days grow shorter, I feel the pull to sit at my computer and write. It’s my comfort zone.

Lifting my morning cup of tea and thanking God for filling my heart with a passion to share His love and goodness through the gift He has given me. May your day be beautiful and may you find joy in who God created you to be.