Category: Writer’s Journal

Ups and downs and insights into my writing life

Writer’s Journal

Brave Enough

Carol Ann Erhardt2 Comments

Most of us spend time in the cyber world each day. It can be a frightening place and I’ve learned I must wear the full armor of God whether I’m on social media platforms or sharing from the heart on this blogging platform.

I believe it is important for a Christian to be credible in all walks of life. Honesty is important. When I make an imprint on this cyber section, I want to be credible. I don’t want to be dishonest, and everything I share is my opinion only.

You all know I’ve struggled with what to do about writing books. I came out of retirement for the wrong reasons. I moved out of retirement and published a book, Katy’s Heart, which had been more than an idea before I retired. Since then, I’ve struggled. I have a new book which remains more than halfway finished. I feel it’s a good book, but something has held me back from moving forward.

Why am I writing? I write because it’s what I do. BUT, writing a book is not what I want to do any longer. I should have remained in retirement from publishing and spending my time instead doing what I want to do. Writing honest content that I feel God is giving me to share…in blogging.

That is being totally honest. Publishing isn’t fun any longer AND it is costing me money, which isn’t feasible in light of this season of life and the world economy. My decision is to remove my books from publication at the end of this year.

I talked about some changes coming to my website/blogging platform. In 2024, I will be focusing on my daily life as a Christian in blog/journaling form. We’ll keep Wednesday open for sharing from Finnegan on his life views. I pray you will be engaging with me on this old, but new, journey moving forward.

It is my goal to be brave enough to be a credible Christian in this cyber world.

Writer’s Journal

The Dream and The Reality of Writing Books

Carol Ann Erhardt

At some point, anyone who loves to read has probably considered writing a book. With that consideration came a dream of being a name people recognized, and ultimately making money, having a fun career, traveling, and book signings.

This is how I started. With such a dream. And with a passion to create an alternate world where I could make certain the characters overcame obstacles and reached a happy ending, even when it wasn’t the goal they thought was important. And along the journey of writing, I found satisfaction in the creation process.

How do I feel today? Did I achieve the dream? Not really. I’ve done some traveling, some book signings, some “talking to readers” gigs. That was fun. But, I’m not a name noticed by readers. I don’t have a lineup of fans waiting for the next release. I’m a typical writer in a world filled with other typical writers. However, I still love the process of writing.

When I sit to write, I get immersed in the creation and feel happy. Words make me happy. Stories engage me. And so I write. And plot new stories.

But the reality is, I will never make a steady income to offset the cost. In honesty, my sales have continually decreased. Typically, in today’s world, I earn from $200 to $400 a year in royalties. My royalties do not offset the cost of maintaining a website, cost of book covers and editing, and least of all provide income to pay for marketing. In reality, writing is not a lucrative path for me.

I read the most honest eye opener this morning on SideHusl.com.

It wasn’t surprising to see my pros and cons list confirmed. I’ve been contemplating this for years, while still holding onto the love of the writing journey. The sense of fulfillment in writing “the end.”

So what does one do when faced with the fading dream and the glaring reality? I don’t want to stop creating new stories. I believe there may be a way. Amazon is the place where most everyone, including me, shops for books and…most other things. But it isn’t working for me any longer. What if I decided to do as Jesus and His disciples did when they were not accepted warmly in a city? I could shake the dust off my feet and move on. There must be an alternate way to achieve my altered dream…the dream of writing and making enough income to pay for the costs and bring in a little pocket change. Right? Write?

Writer’s Journal

At a Standstill with Two Choices?

Carol Ann Erhardt

Have you ever stood still with one choice in the left hand and one in the right, contemplating which to keep and which to let go of in order to balance your life?

Each of us is unique in what makes us … well, us. For me, I have a teeny bit of OCD tendency in my makeup. If I start a project, I’ll finish…period. I might start and then stop, but in time, I will go back and complete it.

We are all different in what we feel passionate about. Sometimes the passion dwindles and we find ourselves at that standstill, holding a choice in each hand. We must choose, because unmade decisions will haunt us. And making the wrong choice can bring regret.

We can turn to the world for affirmation on the choice we really want to make, but we know the world is not where we should get answers. What path does God want for us?

In such a standstill, I am in turmoil. I look at the pros and cons and know which hand should open and let go…but the project is unfinished! One hand is heavier than the other. Ever been there?

Writer’s Journal

Being Creative with God at My Side

Carol Ann Erhardt

I just completed my early morning 30-minute walk. The exercise clears my brain and sets me up with energy for the rest of the day. My goal is to write after my shower and having a high protein, low carb breakfast. Balancing eating for a healthy heart, and maintaining a healthy diabetic diet is important to me. Especially as I’m not a “spring” chicken any longer, but more of a “winter” hen. LOL!

For me, as a writer, it is important to establish a routine and stick to it. I find it much too easy to miss a day of writing and slip into a long stretch of nothing accomplished.

Sitting at the desk with my fingers on the keyboards makes me happy. I’m a creative minded person. Over the years I’ve had many, many hobbies like painting ceramics, knitting and crocheting, and wood burning pictures. Once I painted rocks to look like animals.

I still have hobbies which keep me and my mind occupied when I’m not writing. When I was younger, my dream was to retire from the day job and spend every day writing. That never happened.

My routine now includes about two active hours of writing, not including the blog. It works for me, but must be done every day, so I don’t fall into a negative headspace. It’s all about routine. The older I get, the more routine is necessary for me and my mental health.

This book I’m working on should have been completed earlier this year, but I kept doubting myself and listening to the wrong voice. If I’m writing to honor God, I need to keep my focus on doing that, not on giving up. There’s that nasty Satan whispering in my ear all the time, but those words are not in line with God’s character.

Reading the Bible every day and studying His word is just important in my routine as eating. And so I smile, and close this blog with a heart filled with gratitude for life. The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall not want. Amen.

Writer’s Journal

The Many Sides of a Ghost Moon

Carol Ann Erhardt

As I gaze at the ghost moon in the perfectly unblemished powder blue sky, I’m thinking about the years of my writing journey. How it began when I had been downsized from a lucrative job in 2001 and had time to pursue something I’d dreamed of since I was in elementary school. Twenty-two years have passed.

It was moments like this that sparked ideas for books. I’d become a different person and a scene would begin playing in my mind. From there a book would begin. The woman would be staring at the ghost moon in the unblemished sky from a hiding place while listening for the sound of her pursuer, and feeling more vulnerable as the ghost moon begins to descend. From a deep point of view her thoughts would turn to survival. Her inner strength would be revealed. The lack of any emotion would evolve in a villain bound to not let his latest victim escape. The plot would evolve, and an outline would be written.

With Katy’s Heart, I wrote a book that was not romantic suspense. it was an emotional journey of devastating loss and healing. The book I’m writing now is another woman’s journey of emotional growth and healing. All along the way, I’ve been struggling with wishing I was writing books with mean villains!

I’ve been wrestling with the need to bring in extra income and the reality of that not happening. I’ve “retired” several times but a driving compulsion to write brings me back to the keyboard, back to plots, back to characters and wanting to tell their story.

So here I sit, writing a blog, as the ghost moon disappears. A quiet settles on the landscape. A black cat runs into the trees seeking something. Does this cat belong to the neighbor on the other side of the complex? I know she has a black cat and doesn’t keep it inside. There are dangers awaiting domestic animals left to their own devices. Just as there are dangers for women alone, watching a waning ghost moon, and having no place to hide.

The life of a writer is fraught with choices…